I have been working for the last two months to pull myself out of a depression-anxiety cycle where I seemed to get very little done. Honestly, it was probably just a bit of seasonal depression mixed with having a birthday, both of which always bring an extra hurdle to my life. I am not back to 100% of my energy, but I am slowly getting there. It's a fine balance, as I am also trying to stop valuing my worth based on how productive I can be. It's OK to have some down time and recharge. I'm hoping to start writing more here about BPD and DBT soon though. Not for productivity's sake, but for my own. Journaling helps, and I have a lot to say about these things! Even if nobody reads it, it helps me to organize my thoughts. I tried doing this years ago when I first started my year of DBT, but I was a total mess back then. I am hoping with this new blog to spend more energy on discussing how to use skills, instead of the dramatic details of my personal life, as I did before. I'm feeling pretty okay about my life right now, despite some bouts of loneliness. I'm not striving for extreme highs or lows right now, so this happy medium is working out for me.
Most of the skills I've used to battle this cycle have been from the Mindfulness and Distress Tolerance modules, with a touch of Emotion Regulation. From Mindfulness: I've been trying to stay in the present when I notice myself ruminating on painful past events and trying to participate more mindfully when I do engage with the world and my doggo. From Distress Tolerance: I've been trying to build up my daily resiliency by taking better care of myself, my home, and my dog. I've also been trying to go to bed before midnight and started using CBD oil to help bring my baseline anxiety levels down to a more tolerable place. So far, so good!
Stay tuned... if you wish.